I’ve always been interested in human behavior. How people think, act and feel different under given circumstances. I’ve met so many people and I’ve worked with so many people, and still amazes me how we react to situations or emotions.
In my earlier years as an image consultant thought I could quickly assess people’s personalities. First impressions had me thinking I had someone all figured out. But as time went on, I learned I needed to challenge my own assumptions. You have this first impression, thinking, ‘I’ve got you pegged from what I see.’ But the more you get to know someone, the more surprised you are at how wrong you were.
Unraveling people’s personalities is like peeling an onion layer by layer. The more I meet and work with people, the more amazed I am by the quirks of human behavior. Yet, it’s easy to fall into the trap of confirmation bias—judging someone based on limited info.
Making friends as an expat and building relationships:
For expatriates and their families, making friends comes with unique challenges.
Living in a foreign country with different languages and cultures can cause misunderstandings and snap judgments. We tend to bring our biases with us, categorizing people based on our preconceived notions of who we like and dislike. Yet when we meet new people as adults, as expats, as foreigners, there are so many more layers. I always encourage my clients to give people more chances, especially in an expat context.
The person you meet might be nervous, struggling with language barriers, or simply having an off day. The beauty of expat life lies in discovering the richness of personalities beyond these initial biases.
The key is to give relationships time to develop.
Living in a foreign country involves adapting not only to a new culture but also, in many cases, a different language. It’s a common misconception that sharing a language eliminates cultural shock. But as an expat, you soon discover the differences in perspectives, values, and approaches to life. It’s essential to be open minded and take the time to understand and appreciate diversity.
When dealing with language and cultural barriers, focus on finding shared interests and experiences as a foundation for meaningful connections. As you can see, it can be challenging to find meaningful relationships as a foreigner or expat, but they come down to a few things:
Can you avoid making snap judgments about people based on first impressions.
Are you patient enough to offer to multiple opportunities to reveal their true selves?
Are you willing to respect the cultural diversity you encounter when living abroad?
Are you open to learning and integrating into the local culture?
Expat loneliness is a common companion to life abroad they say. Can you reframe it as a journey of cultural exploration, self-discovery, and the breaking of conditional bias?
While living abroad can be exciting, the process of making friends as an expat and building relationships requires effort. It takes time to find connection. It’s important to recognize that you are a unique and exciting addition to any community. By resisting confirmation bias, embracing cultural differences, and giving people a chance to reveal their true selves, you can find the beauty in forming meaningful connections in your life abroad.
